Friday, February 28, 2014

Head Up in the Clouds

last week and the week before was profoundly a terrible week for me. I pretty much flunked on my midterms and turns out, i was the only one who did not passed on my statistics test, people were pushing my buttons up to it's capacity, things didn't really go the way i wanted it, bitches were being bitches, insomnia sucks and i still cannot stop to procrastinate. Yeay me! if this situation was applied to me back when i was in high school, i would most likely freak out and have anxiety attacks. But a year has passed now and i have changed.

During the horrid situation in the middle of my statistics class, the people around me was stressing out on not being able to do the test and i even notice some of them even relentlessly tried everything that they could to snag a answer from the person sitting next to them. I would most likely freak out if i was in that kind of situation back in high school but something in me felt different, i stayed positive.

I broaden my mind and think that, the world has so much to offer, if we narrow our focus on what only lies in front of us; which for the that time being, my stressful statistics quiz, i'm gonna miss on a lot of wonderful things.Despite for the fact that i flunked on my studies, i looked forward to the next chapter of my adventure, i went over to youtube and admire all of the amazing youtubers that i really do respect the amount of time and effort they put to produce these videos for us to watch.

So long story short, don't get caught up with the tangles that makes life difficult. Life is beautiful. Take a moment to look around and realise the beauty that is begging for us to acknowledge. 



I believe every each and one of us has our own special illusive world that we generate with our own imagination. It is a special place where everything is unrivalled. If the forces above suddenly gives me a choice, a part of me just wants to drown myself in a illusive world where all of the pain that i have sealed inside actually make sense.

I fall in love with illusions more than real moments. What seems to be as it is is not what seems are in my head. I like carving things in a different prospect inside my imagination. It often confuses me up to the point where i am overwhelmed by my own thoughts.

I have come to the realisation where i hurt so deeply because of a guy is because i was not in love with him, i was in love with the illusion of him. The image of him that alters because of my own wrongdoing. There is no reason for me to be this hurt because it is not real. Even if the pain feels real, the situation isn't.

Do not fall for the illusive spell your imagination grasps.


Saturday, February 22, 2014

The Words of Revelation

It is always better to watch a movie at night, when the city is almost at sleep and a ray of sunlight awaits in the morning. I was in a mood for watching romantic comedy movie trailers, after numerous times clicking over one trailer after another. I find myself admiring Ben Barnes's charm from the movie, The Wedding. He looks better in a shorter do; which i've never acknowledged his appeal when he played as Prince Caspian a few years back, which is weird really, i have a huge weakness for boys with slightly long wavy beach hair.

I ended up googling him all night and scrolling down a list of movies he has played and one had captured my attention, The Words; merely because of his good looks that appeared at the top row results when i hit the image section which he would recall himself as a 'Glorified Ken Doll' at one of his interviews. His character was everything a girl could ever dreamed of, and the lucky girl was being gazed upon in every way a woman should be looked at, a pair of eyes filtered with love from her significant other.

The story is about an author telling his book, a story within a story. It's quite confusing at first as we jumped from one dimension into another; and another, but i soon figured on how to differentiate them based from the different screen filters. I'm not gonna go into details about the storyline of the movie, and i'm gonna focus more on the aftermath i had in me after reaching the end of the movie and what happened with Ben's character (because he's hot like duhhhh)

If you want to read the synopsis of the movie you guys can click here! I've made a post earlier about the synopsis of the movie and WARNING: huge spoiler alert!

If you have read the synopsis or if you have watched the movie, the ending was somewhat a cliffhanger or a unclear business that left the audience with questions. What did the scene where Rory hugged Dora from the back and he plead for forgiveness mean?

But aside from the ending, the reason why i feel the need a blog post dedicated to this movie is that there is one particular quote that opened my eyes and it enabled me to see far beyond, the quote is:

"At some point, you have to choose between life and fiction. The two are very close, but they never actually touch."

Clay had said that to Daniella when she was confused of his version of the ending, so who is Rory Jensen anyway? is it really a fictional character or a stage name for Clay himself? But the quote made me wonder, fictional stories are inspired from  factual stories that happened in life. We gather all of these ideas and let it flow in our brain to conduct a new fictional piece that is of our own.

I believe one thing, what we see is what we perceive but what we feel is what we believe. Sometimes the things that goes around our mind feels so real that we start believing in it more that what we see everyday before our eyes. What Clay said earlier was brilliant, he left a clue to his readers but not too much because they still did not know of the true denotation of his story. It is not a lie but more as a indication of a mystery that only those who paid attention can figure it out, if they're lucky that is.

But aside from all the deep stuffs i just mentioned, that movie, that quote, that characters made me alive, they woke me up from a dream i was sealed in. Believing in something that is unfaithful to reality can lead to further wreckage in life, and that moral of the story took my by surprise, similar to a revelation. I want to choose reality over fiction and i want to keep choosing it. I often get so caught up in my own fictional world where I am the focus of this universe that i forget that I am not the only one living in this world with desires. It is so easy to get lost in life and fiction but I always have to remember, the two are very similar but they never match one another, they do not have a correlation to each other as in fiction, all of the people that we see are made-up of our interpretation of the people that we know in life.

Thank you to every single person that was involved in making of The Words.

You have all made me awake and dragged me back to reality.


An Abridgement of The Words

WARNING: I am really bad at writing movie synopsis, my choices of vocabulary is considered poor, i often focus too much on one character's charm and i am easily bewildered by cliffhangers, and i am even far from being an amateur writer, i'm just a girl trying to express her love for dramatic movies and hot guys in it that leads me to think far more deeper about life because wretched things do happen to beautiful people that seemed so untouched. So don't say i didn't warn ya by the time you've reached the end of this post and thought "Mehh, i've just wasted a fraction of my time reading this piece of crap."

But really, enjoy anyways :D

The Words tells a story about a celebrated writer, Clay Hammond (Dennis Quaid) reciting his book, The Words in his public reading event in front of the media. His book was based on a writer who had stolen a story from an old man that had occurred during the World War II. In the audience, a young fresh graduate that starves for more from Clay as she is very fascinated by the book. With her devious persuasion, Daniella (Olivia Wilde) managed to grab Clay's attention and even invited her to his apartment to tell more about his book.

The book tells of a aspiring writer Rory Jensen (Bradley Cooper) who works at a mail supervisor and in hopes of his book being published but luck has not been on his side. Together, Rory and his wife, Dora (Zoe Saldana) went to Paris for their honeymoon. They visited an old vintage shop that is filled with knickknacks and trinkets, whilst browsing the store, Rory discovered a vintage messenger bag, which Dora later on catches him gazing at the beautiful bag and decided to but it for him as a wedding gift. Later on, inside the bag, Rory discovers the was a hidden stack of papers inside it and it looked very old and was typed using a type writer, it was a story of a young man that fell in love with a french woman and how their romance started off as a beautiful fairytale and ended with a tragedy.

Rory paraphrased the story and Dora accidentally read it on his computer and thought it was Rory's. With the joyful look on Dora's face, Rory claimed that it was his and he soon handed it to publishers and they published it. With the mixture feeling of pleasure and guilt, either ways he was pleased by the amount success and recognition he had.

One day, he was going to a park and an old man followed his footsteps and sat at a bench next to his. At first, the old man gave complements for Rory's book and offered him a story that might tell on what happens after the man had split with his wife (in the book).

Ben Barnes plays a young man being sent to Paris during the World War II, he was a vacuous boy that knew less of what goes around the world he lived in. A dear friend of his offered him a book and it opened his eyes and gave him the opportunities to see far beyond life and it was the start of his love for writing. In Paris, he fell in love with a French waitress named, Celia (Nora Arnezeder). It was love at first sight, they spent every single day together and learn their differences, it was like seeing the perfect love story come to life. After the war had ended, the young man was forced to go back to his hometown, which meant he must leave Celia behind. But the love did not end there, after he got back, the young man felt empty and different with himself, he still longs to be together with his dear Celia. The young man decides he would go back to Paris and be with his significant other. After they reunited, the married after two weeks he had gone back to her and soon, they had a baby together.

Life was going smooth for them and the young man had started working as a journalist. Suddenly, their child was sick and both of them worried for their child's medical condition and unfortunately, they had lost their child as their child could not fight with the sickness she was suffering from. Devastated by the reality they had faced, something changed in Celia. She no longer puts a beautiful smile on her face, all that could be seen from her eyes were bitter memories, and it worries the young man.

They had a fight because the young man had done all that he could for bringing back happiness into Celia's life but all she feels is nothing. The young man went out for a late night walk and came back shortly afterwards, when he got back, all he could find was a piece of letter hand-written from Celia saying that she wants to stay in her hometown for a bit and be with her mother. The young man collapsed into the ground and starts to lose himself. In his range or anger, he accidentally smashed his typewriter to the ground. After he felt calmer, he approached the typewriter and picked it back up. He then took a paper and began writing. For several days and nights have flown by, the young man did not sleep nor eat. His eyes were fixed to each letter he wrote and began pouring himself to it.

Once finished, he came to Celia's hometown to visit her and to give her his story inside his usual messenger bag. In hopes of Celia joining him back to come back home, Celia rejected the offer but she kept the story. Celia read the story in a single night and cried when she finished. She then decided it was time to go back to the young man. Celia packed all of her stuffs and the young man's bag.

Reunited, the young man welcomed his wife back home with open arms. By the time they have reached home, the young man asks whether she has read the book or not, for some reason Celia lied, an expression of disappointment cast upon the young man's face. When he asked to see his story again, Celia could not find the bag in her suitcase. Frustrated, the young man searched all over her things and even scattered around the train station asking countless people on where is his bag.

The story of the old man ends there and Rory felt uncomfortable, he looked like in any moment he was ready to escape from that moment as he come to realise that he had stolen this man's life story. Rory was tempted to tell the truth to the public for he cannot bare the old man's agony for the loss of his child and from the separation of his wife. Rory confessed to his wife that the story was not his and he also told the publisher that the story was not his creation. Rory was now standing before a podium and about t uncover the truth, he began his words slowly but at the end, he lied. He claimed the book was based on his creativity. Several days afterwards, the old man died and Rory came to his cemetery and buried the original papers alongside the dead body of the old man. Clay pauses his story there but Daniella demanded more. Clay suddenly became suspicious of Daniella's interest in the story and began asking question why is she so keen to hear more.

Daniella refused to believe the truth that the story ended unfair. Clay asked how would the story end if it was hers to finished it, she told that Rory would have been fucked up, Rory would have lost everything, his wife, his job, his everything. Clay did not know what to talk back as his mouth was left the hanging, Daniella on the other hand, came upon the idea that, maybe this is based on a real story, either Rory was Clay's stage name or maybe it is a fictional after all.

There is one quote that came out of Clay's mouth that caught my attention,

"At some point, you have to choose between life and fiction. The two are very close, but they never actually touch."

That quote also inspired me to write this next post after this one on how this movie has touched me on so many different degree of angles on how i see life, and i would also like to thank Ben Barnes's charming facial feature that led me to his imdb profile to see what movie he had played in, which led me to watching The Words until 2 AM and it was a school night! but nonetheless no regrets here! The movie was very good and despite some movie critics proclaims that the ending slipped the chance of making this movie as one of the best movie of 2012, i still think it is a well written movie with brilliant actors that portrayed each character very memorable.


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

My Everyday Make-up Essentials

For today's post i'm gonna give you guys a in-depth look at what products i use on a daily faces! ranging from face products to lip products and many more! My daily make-up routine always change every now and then but this is the set of make-up that i find curling my hands on to every morning and i hope you guys will enjoy this post! Also leave comments if you would like to share your fave make-up in the comment section!

For the Skin

For my skin, i use the Precious Mineral BB Cream by Etude House to even out my skin and i also find this product as a good light concealer to cover redness and imperfections. I also tend to use a night eye cream from The Body Shop that i use both at day and night because i have terrible panda eyes! and then i pat my face with a powder from Bjouris to set my make-up and i also use concealer afterwards, the one on the pic is also from Bjouris and it is The Healthy Mix Concealer, but the concealer i often use is the one from Coverderm that i forgot to include this in the pic, deepest apology!

For the Eyes

As for the eyes, because most of the days of the week i'm at campus, i don't wanna wear heave eye make-up but there are days where i feel i want to add a little bit of colour to my eyes, especially highlighting the inner corner of my eyes to make them seem much more awake and brighter, i use my gorgeous eye palette from Boots and most of the colours in it are sparkly light colours so it is very wearable on a casual day and can also be used for dressier occasions and if i'm feeling extra lazy on that day i'll just apply a warm brown eyeshadow from Tonymoly that is perfect to cover your veins, but before i apply my eyeshadow, i make sure i apply my eye primer that i absolutely love from Etude House, which i'm also obsessed with the shape of the bottle, and then if i'm in the mood of wearing a mascara, i use the Covergirl mascara in the shade brown, which i often find myself using black mascara all the time but when i first tried this out it looked amazing!

For the Brows

To me, brows is one of the main key points of your face, which can either make or break your whole look, i mean, the way we shape our brows can transform our face! I'm a bog fan of straight brows as it really softens your look and i like wearing brow liner in a dark brown shade or a light brown as well when i feel like i want to complement my bold make-up on my face. I first use a brow liner from Etude House to shape my brows on how i want them to be, and then i start filling them with a brow palette from Etude House and it has two options, a light brown or a dark brown and i also like to highlight my brow bone with a highlighter that also comes along in this palette to highlight my brows, and then comb them with a spooley brush to even out the colour of the product with the original colours with my brow, and if i want to have a much more bolder look, i like to make the tip of my brows into a square shape at the ones that are in between my eyes and using either a brow pencil or from the eyeshadow palette with a pointed brush.

For the Lips

As for the lips, i love combining either a lip cream with a pencil liner or i also spice things up using a bold lipstick colour and soften the edges with a nude pencil liner, the one that i'm currently using is the Revlon's lip butter in the shade Plum which is this gorgeous rich warm purple colour that actually looks so good when you wear it and a nude lip liner from Etude House that i absolutely love and it is one of my must-have products whenever i step outside of my house.

So there you have it guys! Hope you enjoyed it! :)


Flame of Effort

Blogging is not as simple as it look. You have to keep feeding your brain with inspirations, do photo shoots if you wanna include pics in your post, construct your writing, checking your grammar, editing posts here and there and other process that goes along the way.

Life is all about balance, how you keep track on doing things you want and the things you must and juggle it until the end of the day and by the time tomorrow comes, you do it all over again.

Being a freshman at uni is both fun and exhausting at the same time. You are so excited to be put in a different scenario and surrounded by new people that it's a really good feeling to have inside that an adventure awaits, but it can be quite exhausting as you gotta study more harder than you were back in high school, balance your time between studying, hanging out with friends and do what you love (and for me, it's blogging).

There was a point were I was disappointed in myself because i let all of that overwhelm me and i would only write occasionally and most likely on the weekends. Today didn't go so well, i pretty much flunked at my Statistics midterms and i drew a flower on the test sheets and only God knows what will my lecturer think.

But something gleamed in me earlier today in class, if this is something i really want, i am not going to let these externalities get in my way of success, the only thing that makes it seem hard is the way i see it, therefore, i started to eliminate all of the bad thoughts in me and i focus.

There's quite a lot of things i gotta juggle today, i gotta write a new post about make-up, gotta study Microeconomics for tomorrow's test, gotta stay healthy by eating fruits and drink my vitamins, gotta keep my mom updated on what i'm doing, gotta pray, clean my vanity, self-pamper is always a must and other things that i'll remember along the way!

It may sound simple but once you do it, it can be another different story, but i am blessed. I am blessed for all of the activities that God has permitted me to do and i am blessed for the exhaustion and the satisfaction feeling because it keeps me alive, and also God's grace :)


Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Jakarta Fashion Market 2013

Last year, me and my two friends went to the Jakarta Fashion Market 2013 that was was held at f(x) and the event pretty much dominated the main floor, it was an interesting experience as i saw all of these hipsters coming out of their birdhouses and there were a lot of them! Never really have seen these interesting people wondered in one place in this homogenous society and i was so happy that i got to see it with my own eyes.

The event showcased independent young indonesian brands and each and every one of them had their own concept, i say a stand with lots of leather pieces and even splashes of colours in every thread imaginable being yanked into a gourmet (well not really, but i hope you get my point!) and it was such an interesting experience as we got to talk one-on-one with the designers themselves and there was this huge stage at the middle of the floor and it was for the OOTD Indonesia community and they had a fashion show, q&a session, interview section, and etc. 

It was my first time ever attending those kinds of events and i admit, i was really shy and i didn't really have the guts to approach the fashion gurus as i feel i have not achieved much in the fashion essence of my blog so i kept staying under the radar but overall it was a great experience and i was glad to be attending it with two of my good friends! Here's miscellaneous pics from the stash, hope you guys enjoy! and please so bare with my poor resolution photos that were not taken at a decent angle 'cause i'm still trying to figure out how to function a dslr camera XD


God's Grace

lately things has been quite hard for me, for no specific reason i've been very restless and thinking too much and i think it has got to the point where it over-consumed me, it's like, at one point i can be happy and at another point it's like i suddenly forget and i kinda lose myself, on top of that, i cannot remember when was the last time i prayed to God.

My mom advised me to surrender myself to God and ask for forgiveness and help. I did what i was advised and i confessed to God, life confuses me, the uncertainty, the universe; does it repels itself from karma? why do the things we thought are not the same as we have a taste of it on our own? there were clearly too many questions wandering around my head and it was paralysing. 

By the time i finished praying, a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, the muscles in between my eyebrows softens, and i could feel my heartbeat beating at a constant pace. I smiled.

It was at noon where i walked back to my place after a day at campus, i felt something different in me, what i hate most about walking by my own is the uncertainty, who knows who you might bump into and i just hate, honestly despise it when a group of people looks at me from afar thinking that i do not realise their pair of eyes observing my every move, i also dislike the sound of engines; they're too loud and noisy. But in that moment, i feel different, i was calm and enjoying every step that i took, i felt like there was a invisible force-field that was surrounding me, like i am inside a bubble, the sounds of the cars passing by did not irritate me as much as it used to and in my surprise, the presence of others did not infuriate me.

I looked up to the skies and say, thank you God. It was a precious moment where i felt God's grace was protecting me from the things that made me uncomfortable and made me realise that beauty lies in every corner that we look only if we pretend the destruction that overflows it is invisible; we have to mind it in order for that beauty makes it way into our senses.

I want to feel God's grace every single day of my life until i die, some say it's a struggle; to stay consistent, but i think it is worth the effort. Sometimes all you gotta do is ask and God will permit ti :)


Sunday, February 9, 2014

Latent Luck

Have you ever spotted a dime just lying there on the floor and as you picked it up, a thought comes to your mind, "Today is my lucky day." Ever thought that you could be the other person that conveys that luck to the other person? 

A few nights ago i was at a bakery store with my friend and i insist of paying his bread with my lot, at first he refused but i wanted to do my daily act of kindness and the moment felt perfect to me, so i persistently told him that it's on me. 

When i was about to reach my wallet, i accidentally dropped one of my coins into the ground, a thought suddenly hopped into my mind and i just stood still and leave it lying on the ground.

As i walked out of the bakery, i feel content. There is a hope growing inside of me that, whoever the next person that sees that coin, i hope that person will pick it up and say, "Today is my lucky day."

To me, luck is like happiness, we can indeed be the one who gives luck to other people, just like happiness. I have this believe inside of me that, whatever power we believe most is the power that is contagious to others.

I hope the person comprehends my message at some point, i hope there is real power that that coin possess, even if it is latent, for now.

Until then, this is my daily dose of joy that i spread to those around me, i will definitely make more stories on how i turn something that is unadorned into something meaningful :)


Worthwhile The Wait

I have learned something valuable from the times where there were no stars in my darkest skies.

When a want becomes a desire, we are willing to do almost anything to have it and feel it with our own souls, they say to have something that we've never had before, we must do something we've never done before.

Sure, at first you make a plan on how to achieve that goal, but the actual process of doing it is a whole different scenario from the original one that you've planned where there are no bumps along the way.

A wise man once told me that the road to success isn't about riding a straight path, but it is a path that is filled with pit stops to learn what we must acquire, fall into holes every now and then, but as long as you steady yourself to get back on track, everything is ok, in fact, you are already halfway of being the successful person that you dreamed of :)

Lately there are some people in life that has been rubbing me off on my bad side and it does make me furious, especially when the person that matters most in your life is throwing you all of this negativity and all you ask for is an act of sympathy. But it's ok, if i really want this, i'll keep carrying on and get back on track regardless of the anchors that tries to hold me back.

Because something worth having will not come easy and something easy is not worth having :)

Never lose hope.

Always turn on the light in your mind no matter how dark things seem to be.

There is always hope for those who ask of it.


Friday, February 7, 2014


Have you ever had one of those days where all you wanna do all day is just lay in bed and ignore the things you most do? unfortunately, i was having those days when i had to sit in class and stay there for the next hours ahead.

It's not them, it's not me, it's the energy that rotates in a circular motion throughout our universe that sends us off to our breaking points, main thing is, people were just pissing me off that day and all i wanna do was hit their faces with a frying pan and watch them trembling in despair MUHAHAHA well i can't really do that 'cause sooner or later i'll pretty much forgive them and forget whatever happened before.

At around close to midnight, i was watching an episode of 2 Broke Girls and some youtube videos, and suddenly a lot of romantic genre movie trailers suddenly popped in front of my youtube home page, without hesitation, i pretty much watched a ton of it and i'm more of the adventurous-movie type junkie but tonight, i was craving for something that touched my emotional side. After watching a ton of those, i find myself laughing my butt off, tears of joy and i feel rejoiced :) it feels like a daily dose of motivation came out of the screen and i was recharging myself to be back on track

Point is, whenever you're having a bad day, don't just sit around and do nothing! the world if filled with hidden secrets and tombs of happiness if only we give in to ourselves and live in that state of moment,there is always a chance to turn that gloomy day into a wonderful day :)


My Top 5 Beauty/Fashion Youtuber

Hello there readers! FINALLY talk about time for me to write a post that isn't related to my teenage angst and deep thoughts, today i want to share to you all my top 5 beauty/fashion vloggers that i've been obsessed with ever since i was in senior year.

My love for vloggers started off when i was looking for room decorative inspiration ideas for my bedroom and i stumble upon the beauty community on youtube. For me, it's fun to watch these beauty guru's creativity cramped in a video or to even hear them talk about how their day was. So today i have listed 5 of my most absolute favourite vloggers of all, enjoy!

5. Arden Rose aka arose186

She's the type of girl that both men and women are attracted to, i mean, a gorgeous tall girl with strikingly gorgeous eyes who does well in make-up and fashion and not mention is obsessed with The Legend of Zelda, who would not be attracted to her? i just love how she is so natural and being herself in all of her videos and i do appreciate her fine editing skills and i also love love love her and Nicholas together! I also wish her all the best for her future as a youtuber and all the things she wishes to do! I can definitely see her getting bigger and bigger and what i learn most is that she is able to stay humble even with the amount of fame she's been receiving over the past years. 

4. Aspyn Ovard aka hautebrilliance

Whenever i see a Hautebrilliance video notification in my subscription box i cannot help but to feel a tingling sensation rose inside of me. She has the skills, the look, the body, the personality, i mean, every single thing in this girl is the definition of perfection. I love how she's very herself whenever the camera rolls and i have to give her two thumbs up for staying cool even though some people seems to critique her, even the littlest things! What i have assimilate from my time spent on watching her videos is that it's okay to be yourself even if people think you're annoying and keep doing what you love regardless what blocks you away from your dreams and ignore the haters. 

3. Katy Bellotte aka hellokaty

Every time i see her i see the part of me glowing on the inside because whenever she talks on her videos it's like i'm having a really nice chat with one of my good friends, it's like all of these words that floats in my head that i cannot fathom, she seems to understands it. What i think is most attractive a pretty girl could have is intelligence, and Katy has that, in fact, i think she has the whole package going on! i love her fashion sense, her make-up tutorials, hauls and etc. and i love her inspiring kinds of vids where i can learn a lot from her and i have shaped myself into a better person because of hearing her soothing voice and deep thoughts. The whole female population blesses the existence of Katy Bellotte!  

2. Jenn Im aka clothesencounters

This chic is definitely one in a billion, i stumble upon her channel whilst i was looking for room inspirations after i watched macbarbie07's room tour vid and i did noticed that her room/dorm room stood out from the rest. Her quirky and eclectic style truly makes her who she is and i have so much respect for someone that is knowledgeable and witty, which she has the whole package. It feels like you can talk almost about everything when it's a conversation with Jenn Im, her style, choices of music, lifestyle, perspective and etc. absolutely rocks. I can't help but wanting to be a person like her when later on when i reach adulthood. But overall, she's amazing! A must watch fashion prodigy in the making! 

1. Bethany Mota aka macbarbie07

The first ever Beth video that i watched was her room tour video that now has over 7 million videos on youtube. I firmly think she is responsible and the main reason for my addiction for beauty youtubers and having self confidence. I have so may respect for her because she dedicates a lot of time to really put a lot of thoughts into her videos and also her creativity is out of this world. The way that her bubbly and easy-breezy personality shines through the cameras is a no wonder that she has over 4 million subscribers and her love for her subscribers (#teammota), which i am very happy to acclaim myself as, is indescribable, i really do believe she's one of the most dedicated and hard-working youtuber out there, and on top of that, she loves her fans sincerely and i am so happy for the success of her new fashion line. Whenever i seem down or at lost for inspiration, when  watch her videos it seems like the weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and her positive energy is one of the many infinity reasons why i love her, which earns her a number 1 spot on my list. 

So there you have it, guys! I hope you guys enjoyed reading this post and finally i'm writing something that's relevant t my main focus of my blog! I hope you guys enjoyed this post and leave a comment on who is your favourite beauty/fashion blogger!


Saturday, February 1, 2014


Ever since i was little, i've always been fascinated in the art of philosophy, just a few months ago, i stumbled upon The Philosophy Book from DK Publishing from the best-seller section, no wonder, i mean, all of these great ideas and complicated theories about mankind's tendencies are explained, well most of it.

I haven't exactly got the perfect moment for my hands to grasp into every page but there was this one quote that stood up from the rest on the front cover, quoted "Man is born free and everywhere he is in chains." clearly it is a metaphor, a metaphor that i've been dying to blab about to other people.

When we are born, our soul is ours to claim to live in this world & the world that exists after it and our body belongs to ourselves for the age of our youth. But why, when we reach at a certain point of our lives, we feel harmed in doing things we want?

I name them, The Invisible Chains, cannot be seen but can only be felt. A chain that is made up of the negativity that steams inside our mind and overtake on the way we see things.

We are chained by the rules that limits our freedom, we are chained by the mocks that people direct at us so we cannot do more of what we could, we are chained by our parents orders to do things that are unacceptable to them but what we desire most.

Everywhere we go and everything we do, our behaviours are based on what we think we should do for the sake of being accepted, we are like puppets, the puppet master (and just to clear thing up, i'm not referring this to God, it's just the forces that lies on our heads that seems to have a greater power than it truly has) pulls our strings and controls our every movement we make.

If only we; as puppets, can negotiate to our puppet masters, to be free at some point and to be pulled back when we need to redeem ourselves.

But how do we get out from this state that we're in? and what happens if there are no chains left in us all? would there be chaos? or would it bring us satisfaction or perhaps, happiness?

A part of me does want to be let loose and cut all of these strings so i can be free and empowered, but another part of me is fragile and afraid on what lies for my future if i do not have any limits, i might just go mad and do whatever i want, even if it involves hurting someone, mentally. 

I often feel like there's an anchor at the very end of these chains that drags me to where it stops and it prevents me from crossing the line, i do want to rebel from it, but will it include pain and tears along the way?

These contradicting wants really makes my head hurt. I over-think, too much for my own good. But it's been better now since i have this blog to surrender myself.