The Graceful Swan

My mother and I was on the hunt for a art piece for my apartment and for the longest time ever, we haven't had any luck. We searched from store to store and none felt it brought the perfect ambience. We were looking for something that had a meaning behind it and not just any art piece/a painting but something i can smile upon to when i wake up every morning.

We were looking around at Ace Hardware and most of the one's there was either too long or the picture on it just doesn't seem right. But suddenly I found this gorgeous picture of a Swan gracefully bending her long neck and forming a beautiful posture on a square canvas. It was a printed painting but it looked real from afar and they added a bit of real paint on some of the vocal features of the faux painting, such as the feathers and it looks absolutely gorgeous.

I showed it to my mom and she told me that this is the one. Since i've been living alone in my apartment, every now and then i kinda miss home and since i only go home on the weekends, i do miss seeing my mom. My mom told me to put this on the wall on top of my bead so whenever i sleep the swan is somewhat like looking after me and my mom always told me that I will grow up into a graceful swan, which at first i asked her if what she meant was i used to be a freaking ugly duckling lol, but i think that was a very beautiful meaning that my mom gave into the art piece.

xoxo,

Gia

Dear March

This month has been like a crazy roller coaster ride for me, at the beginning of the month, my mind was consumed with the idea of perfecting my Valentine's Day project and it was a good feeling as i met a lot of new people through handing them the love letters. 

Overall, this month wasn't that sour but i think i have learned something valuable from this month on how to control my anxiety. I'm not saying that i have fully recovered from my anxiety, but every now and then i still do pace back and forth, listening to my ipod and enter the treacherous unrealistic realm of mine. It saddens me really, to see myself in the mirror and see how broken i am when i lose contact with reality. But i am in the process of healing, i am still fighting with this and i'm not giving up. I hope i'll never give up.

I have strictly put away my ipod from me and i want to try to live day by day without daydreaming too much and live that dream that i've been dreaming of and be in peace as the way that i hope. This month, i want to discover more and go on more adventures, meet new people, be more open minded and not judge a play by it's poster; and not too draw conclusions too quickly.

Time. One of my biggest concerns is time. Sometimes i feel like the world is spinning too fast and i get so caught up with it that i do not know where i stand. I also often feel i am not spending my time efficiently. I must not waste precious time. I have to be more productive and decrease my level of concern.

I've also learned a bit about love this month, i have forbid myself from falling in love with illusions. If i do want to like someone, i have to fully know what is he like, not the recreation sculpture that i formed in my head. It's going to be hand because i am a sucker for first glances; but i have to do it. For the sake of my mental health.

Lastly, thank you February for the lessons that you have given me and March, please be kind to me. I do not want to waste any more precious tears. I want to be healed. I want to treasure the ones that i love and I want to be more appreciative of time.

xoxo,

Gia 

The Valentine Project

Valentine's Day is a special day that celebrates love and showing your appreciation for the ones that means the most in your life. In this special occasion, some celebrates with a special dinner for two or even taking to a exotic place and make them feel special. Oh how i would love to be in that kind of situation, but unfortunately, that never happened to me.

But for this year, i want things to be different, i don't want to spend my night alone in my bedroom crying over the fact that i have not yet found my significant other and all i can do is watch romantic drama movies whilst munching on a box of chocolate and surrounding myself with boxes of tissues 'cause i can guarantee myself that i'll cry my ass off.

So in honour of Valentine's Day, i have made a special project that i have approximately planned on for months and i am so thrilled it actually happened! I prepared 300 mini love letters that had 4 different quotes in it and a saying:

You are one in a million

You are special,

and you are loved :)

I handed out to random people. I'm not gonna lie, at first it was the most awkward feeling ever! I had to pull a lot of courage to approach random people and handing them the love letters; at some point, i could not even look straight into their eyes because it was just so nerve-racking! But at the end i did not regret it because i felt i did something that i would look back and smile at it :)

As for my classmates, i made them personally hand-written letters, i wrote about how blessed and thankful i am for their presence in class and highlighting their goodness. It was a priceless moment as i saw their smiling faces and it definitely made me happy! and i also have them a small sack of sweets as a complement to the love letter :)

Here's some pictures! hope you guys will enjoy! :D

For the Mini Love Letters

Love Letters for My Classmates

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day and celebrate love every waking moment of your life, love should be celebrated everyday without an exception! :)

xoxo,

Gia

The 'Host' that lives inside of us

A couple of days ago i decided to watch a movie in the middle of the night because i was in desperate need of inspiration, a though of the movie, The Host, suddenly flew by my mind because i saw the trailer a couple of weeks ago and i was quite impressed, so i decided to watch it anyways despite for the fact that i needed to wake up at 7 am in the morning hahahaha

The movie started off a little bit confusing as a girl named, Melanie, was running away from these peoples that were dressed in white and holding this some kind of futuristic pepper spray, the story continued on where Melanie died because she bursted out of a window and jumped off of a building, which later on she was taken by these people dressed in white to a room where she was lied down and they injected something into her back neck and this creature came out of this metal compartment and it got into Melanie's body.

Based from the movie, the human population was being taken over by these aliens from another planet as they can control a human's body but sometimes, some human fights back so even though the aliens are occupying their body, the presence of their soul still haunts their mind and sometimes it's hard for them to permanently leave. Melanie is different from the rest, her Host, Wanderer feels her strong presence in 'their' head and whenever she wants to do something, Melanie steps in it.

The movie was a sci-fi romance film that had a really interesting storyline as Melanie and Wanderer was torn between two men, Melanie wanted to be with Jared and Wanderer fell in love with Ian, but using Melanie's body. As the story continued on, it made me opened my eyes that a person can truly love someone based on what they are on the inside regardless of what they look like on the outside.

You guys might think i'm crazy for saying this, but i think every single human being that has ever existed in this world has their own 'Host' living inside of them. Including me, including you; who's currently reading my blog, including us, us all.

Ever wonder who is that little voice that wanders inside our head every time we are about to make a decision? that voice that seems to say contradicting things in comparison to what our heart says? well that my friend, i call them our 'Host' or i also like to call them our 2nd-selves.

These Hosts are a part of us that had gone through events that we have and felt what we feel since the day we were born. But sometimes we close ourselves to our internal voices because hearing all of these voices (both from internal and external factors) can be quite exhausting but we don't realise that we are forgetting a piece of ourselves left behind.

In the movie, even though Wanderer was controlling Melanie's body, a part of Melanie's soul still exists within, every decision that Wanderer wants to make that is against Melanie's virtue, things didn't go as well as either of them wanted because these two were fighting with each other. Same with us, when we want something but if there is a wary feeling that we have inside, it will show and effect ourselves, sometimes if we keep on going with these internal disturbance going on, things could go fatal.

I have come to the conclusion that to connect with ourselves is to make ourselves in peace with our Hosts and learn to fall in love with ourselves again and again.

:)