Against the Common Flow

Everyone is their own individuality

One may seem alike to another

but,

a single trait or more can define them apart

Being different can often be misunderstood by most people. Being different can sometime lead us to seclusion from the common. Being different takes up a lot of bravery from the inside, and being brave is being confident with taking a road that we believe in, even though it is different from everyone else.

That road isn't going to be easy. That road isn't always gonna give us applause from other people because we choose to be daring. That road isn't always gonna smooth but, if that road is the road that you truly feel that it is best for yourself,

Then go for it. 

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That is all from me, hope you guys will enjoy this mini post about motivation and remember! Uniqueness and being genuine is very rare these days, don't let society dim your spark!

xoxo,

Gia

Flowers in Ramadhan

Last month was a month filled with soul rejuvenation and forgiving one another, but instead of taking pictures of people, I found myself snapping my cameras at pretty flowers and here are the pictures that I ended up with :)

Tumblr Update!

HELLO THERE MY DEAR BLOG THAT I HAVE ABANDONED FOR THE PAST MONTH :(

Lately life has been overwhelming and I decided to seclude myself from all sorts of social media devices and rethink where did I did wrong that caused me in such agony.

BUT

enough with all of these sad and pathetic posts, i'm back! and hopefully i'm gonna be better than ever, I decided I wanted to pimp up my blog and tumblr page, hence my new banner :) what do you guys think? I tried editing the css to centre the banner so it'll look nicer but idk what went wrong but it doesn't function when I typed the code. But also, feel free to check out my tumblr pages! The first is my main tumblr page where I reblog and sometimes I write mini notes regarding what i'm in the mood to write that day and the second one is my photography page! I'm still practicing on my photography sills but hopefully day by day i'll get better at taking pictures :)

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Follow me on Tumblr! :)

JASMINELILY95

JL95PHOTOGRAPHY

Got a lot on my head that I wanna write on this blog so hopefully in the near future i'll be able to complete these upcoming posts of mine that I keep promising myself but I haven't exactly made them yet :') Until then, have a good day!

xoxo,

Gia

Current Addiction: Milktea

Hey guys! Just a quick update I wanna put up on my blog dedicated to my everlasting love for milk teas. I'm not so sure why i'm addicted to these drinks but I just feel the urge to drink a milk tea almost every day lately since they're so refreshing.

Chatime Milktea - Chatime

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I really need to learn how to accept people the way they are and get used to the fact that just because you were nice to someone, they're not always gonna repay your kindness. It really saddens me when people are just pretending to care, giving us false hope, acting all coy and as if nothing's wrong.

And then comes the moment when we are in need of help, they disappear. They neglect us, both our problems and our presence. 

The Shining Star

Yeah so Mother's Day has already passed but I haven't exactly posted this yet and I was kinda bummed at first because I wanted to post it on Mother's Day but things were pretty hectic and finally now I have the time to post this!

For Mother's Day this year I decided to but something special for my mom and something that has a message to it. I bought her a star keychain that resembles starts that glimmers at dark skies above. I want to let her know that everyone has that light of hope inside of them and I want my mom to know that she is the star in my dark skies.

My mom is an amazing woman who is a compassionate mother and a devoted career woman, even though my relationship with my mom is like riding a roller coaster ride, I love her dearly. And even though sometimes days aren't going so great between me and my mom, I know that deep down inside she loves me and so do I. 

Ask me a question on tumblr!

Hi there! Feel free to ask me questions on my tumblr page :)

Here's a little bit of a sneak peek on how I answer questions :) yeah i'm either poetic or just nonsense XD but have a good day anyways! 

xoxo,

Gia

Me in One Sentance

I am a infinite galaxy that stands in between a socially awkward individual and an unruly extrovert. 

Back on Track

Whilst on the journey of reaching your dreams, it is never an easy road to embrace. Sometimes, i drift off from that road and i stumble, a lot. Lately I feel i've been kinda lost and it saddens me. Sometimes I let my anxiety and depression get in my way, university has just been exhausting, and also social pressure, sometimes it gets the best of me.

But for every time I feel down and sad, I always have to remind myself my goal from the start, where I want to be in the next few years or more and what I want to achieve in this life. Even though it is exhausting because you have be your own saviour, it moulds you to into becoming a stronger person.

So my goal now is to not let insignificant 'noises' get in my way of what I want to achieve, and I gotta work hard on it. Seems kinda scary but I believe I can overcome it. And I also have to start making daily plans to get my day organised and to finish off things I must do like assignments, cleaning, read my textbooks, and etc!

And until then, I am still struggling to develop myself.

xoxo,

Gia

Rise After You Fall

Hi guys! For today I want to do a somewhat inspirational post that I hope will inspire you all and can also help for those of you who have been wanting to rise from the ashes of your misery and be brave in starting a new chapter in your life.

So I have come up with several ideas that you guys can do whenever you feel sad, and always remember to rise from no matter what misery you guys are facing! :)

1. Cry it out. Letting out that weight that has been hovering and sending a pressure to your chest is better off to deal it by crying. Because once you've cried, you have acknowledge the pain and you have accepted the reality of it.

2. Talk to a friend. In life, you cannot expect for everyone to understand you like an open book if you don't tell them! Be wise and smart in choosing a friend to let your guards down, and hold on to the idea that life will always give you a friend. People will come and go but there are many trustworthy ones that are worth the love and pain.

3. Sing it out. It has been proven in a psychological observation that singing releases stress. Now I don't really have a great singing voice, I just think it's pretty ok but hey, Who cares? Just sing it out! One of my fave songs to sing are Disney songs! Ranging from A Whole New World to A Part of Your World and so many more! It really does work! I feel much more lighter and airy after I jam into my fave all time classic Disney songs

4.  Cook your own food. When we're cooking, we are focused to the food that we are making it is the perfect brain distraction! And also make sure that you're cooking healthy foods that are good and energising for your body.

5. Do something productive. For me, it's either cleaning or writing a new blog post. Even though i've been kinda MIA from blogging ever since i've been busy with the third semester of uni, I feel so happy after I post a new blog because it makes me feel i'm a step closer of reaching my dreams and I believe it is beneficial for me future. And at other times, I also like to clean my apartment and re-organise and re-decorate my living space to have a new outlook. 

6. Watch comedy films/sitcoms. For me, it would either have to be 2 Broke Girls and How I Met Your Mother, even though i've only been watching HIMYM very recently, I fell in love with Robin & Barney and the whole entire cast is just so hilarious. And i've also been a huge fan of 2BG because it is filled with sarcastic humour and every single cast in that sitcom is perfect for their role and I often find myself laughing my ass off every time I watch 2BG.

7. Drink tea. I suggest drinking green tea because not only it is good for your metabolism, but it is also good for weight control! And I also make sure that I do not fill it with sugar because it can be kinda fattening and I prefer drinking it without sugar anyways.

8. Exercise. Especially when you're angry! When you're mad at someone, don't waste your time thinking of a diabolical plan to get your revenge on that person. But let it all out by exercising! Go to the gym or take a walk or even do your own cardio workout in your living space.

9. Pray. Have faith in what you believe. I always believe that everything is not a coincidence and it is all a plan made by God. I also believe that if God brings us into a situation, God will also help us go through that situation. 

10. Read a book. I'm currently loving post-apocalypse themed book and I really do find them very entertaining and it broadens up your imaginations by challenging it into a greater extent. And when you're reading a book, when you're caught up with it, you can put your problems aside and enjoy the flow of the story.

So that is the few of the many tips I have to enlighten yourself and I hope you all will enjoy :D

xoxo,

Gia

In Search of Something Genuine

Have you ever just wanted something so bad, you would do the absolute crazy things in order to have the feel of it for yourself. Especially when we see someone having it and seeing how happy they are as their smiles spread broadly across their face and you bare eyes saw something genuine in theirs.

That was me before reality slapped my face. There is an old saying that 'It is better from afar.' which I didn't really get it when I first heard of it. But now, it brings me to ease and lessens the feeling of jealousy in me. 

I used to hold on to this theory where I could not be happy unless if I have something that what I would think would bring me happiness. So I was relentlessly trying to reach it. Sometimes things goes with the way I want them, and at other times, things don't really go as well as I would have pictured them in my head. But either ways, something prickled in me, the feeling that I thought is not the feeling what I felt in the end. I did not taste anything genuine.

When I look at pictures, I would often thought, I want to go to this place where this person goes, I want to get to know more of this person, I would like to have this or that, and the list of desires continues on. But as reality comes it's way more than my expectation (and my daydreams) it gives me the spiteful truth that some things are not as what they seem to be. And the more I hear of endless realistic scenarios from people that I thought were living in a fairytale, the more I feel both relived and numb. Relived that I can stop hoping a false reality and numb that, is there even anything genuine nowadays?

But I am not giving up, maybe this is a lifetime journey, to find something or someone that's genuine. And I am thankful for life has shown me something that was realistic, even though it hurts. So what I want to do now is to stop creating scenarios in my head. I want to be surprised with the reality that life brings and even if some things are better of looking at it from the opposite angle, there are sure of a whole lot of things (or moments) that are genuine, even from any point of view that works dimensionally. 

xoxo,

Gia

To Be the Person I Will Become

I think everyone has definitely gone through a phase where they idolise someone and admires their achievements, their looks, their life and whatnot. As we look at ourselves in the mirror, with high hopes and dreams, we hope of becoming to like the person we want to be. For as many years as I could ever imagine, i've always wanted to be this person or that person and I was relentlessly picking out the differences between my life and theirs, and it made me much worse knowing i'll never be like them and I will never have the things that they have.

But as I got older, I now realise why all of those struggles in the past of trying to become like someone else didn't work. The universe did not grant my wish, and I am happy for that. Now I have realise that the person that I want to be is the best version of myself. I keep telling myself that it is ok to idolise someone to look up to and make them as role models, but there has to be a fine line between idolising and obsessing.

It took me years to actually figure this out but, if I do want to be the best version of myself, or let's say the person I want to become, I have to start by change. I read this amazing quote on weheartit that somewhat sounds like this,

"The only difference between the person that you are now and the person that you want to become is the things that you do." 

- Anonymous 

I think that quote really did gave me a hard slap of reality and it empowered me. I have to start step by step and even doing the littlest thing that didn't seem like they would make a big impact, but they actually do. I don't know if I have ever mentioned this on my blog but, I have anxiety issues. There are a lot of times where I wake up in the morning and for some reason, I can't relax, i'm already tensed in the morning, i'll grab my earphones and listen to music to start my daydream in hopes of entering dream world would make things better but it never did and I procrastinate on a lot of things, and then I get pissed off because I can't even do the littlest things without the feeling of worrying inside of me. This sounds stupid but I even can't relax and eat properly in the dining table when I eat by myself because i'm always panting on the inside and I end up eating and walking around my bedroom like a foolish five year old, and yes, it was that severe.

But I want to change, now I pay attention to every single thing I want to start doing just like the person I want to become will do. I first get up in the morning, take a deep breath and thank God for life, then I open the curtains and the windows, turn off the air conditioner, make my bed, stretch, and I control myself if a part of me tries to go back to my old reckless routine and I try my best to resist my obsession towards daydreaming and I put my earphones in my sister's bedroom so it will be out of reach from me. I even hold myself when I want to eat and constantly remind myself to have manners even when i'm eating alone and doing things properly.

Every now and then I do still lose myself and caught myself pacing back and forth to music but it's ok. I tell myself that it's ok because I am still in the process of recovery and I don't go hard on myself. For some it's easy to do things like brushing your teeth after waking up but it's a struggle for me, used to. But i'm in it for the long-run and I will continue doing this step by step and we'll see :) i'll definitely be making more posts about self-development in the future. 

To some, this might sound silly but we all have our own struggles that we're the only ones that comprehends the pain. Also, i'm so fed up of missing out many great moments in life due to my anxiety and depression. I want to change, and it's gonna be a new semester ahead, I want things to get better and I want to get back on track. 

So yeah, sometimes I don't really know exactly the kind person want to become but for all I know is that I want to be the kind of person that can enjoy life even if the people in it tries to bring me down, to keep doing what I love even if things aren't going well, to enjoy every moment of life even with it's imperfections, to find my passion and love what I do, to handle things more wisely, and there is so much more I could honestly write a essay about it.

I was originally gonna write the title of this post as 'To Become the Person I Want to Become' but then I realise, I will become this person because I am willing to change to be it and I will start doing it now. You can't wait for something great happen to you, you have to work hard and earn that greatness and it starts with change.

xoxo,

Gia

The Right Time, The Last Time

It was not too long ago where I watched the movie About Time, which Rachel McAdams and Domhnall Gleeson. The movie tells of a young man named, Tim and his other male descendants of his family holds the ability to travel back in time and fix things if necessary. Although I was planning on doing a movie review on this but I went for a different direction because this movie taught me the value of something important and I wish to do yet another self-reflection about, time.

In the movie, after his father told him about this special power, Tim often travels back into time to say what he should have said, do what he should have done and fix his mistakes that he had made. At first, it was like winning a lottery at every try and he could easily go back in time if he mess things up, and it went over and over.

Tim had reached to a moment where he went back in time over and over again until he is satisfied with the moment and starts to lose the essence of time travelling, also i'm so sorry this is gonna be a huge spoiler alert and i'm just gonna jump into the several last segments of the movie because i do not want this to be a long post.

But with recent death of his father. His father told him that he does not need to rewrite moments for him to really enjoy it, he told him to live a day expecting that he could always travel back, and his days was filled with dark skies, gloomy atmospheres, impatiently waiting for things to end and it went horribly. Then his father had asked him to relive that day as if it was his last time going back into time and rewriting his life. From there and so on, Tim lived his life as if it was his last time he was going back into time to live it, and he could not be more happier as life started to bloom genuinely.

From the moral of the story, I often have those days where things are going horribly wrong and I tell myself that there is always tomorrow and I can start all over again, this movie has taught me that each moment is a gift and if we truly value time, time will have it's glitch of magic striking at us and will present us with a noble moment for that to live it once is enough.

xoxo,

Gia 

Self-Reflection: Boys

Since i'm on my two weeks of holiday, I spent most of my time reading books and watch endless videos on youtube (so adventurous ikr), and semester 3 is just around the corner so i'm currently planting on new positive perspectives and I seek for a fresh new start and not making the mistakes that I made in the past, but what I learned while I was sitting against the computer screen was, a lot. And one of them happens to be about the opposite sex. 

I've watched this video earlier on Youtube by Mirella Belle titled, How to Get the Boy You Like. At first I was kinda skeptic about it because one, she's super pretty so I presume it'll be easy for her to get any guy she wants, and two, i'm kinda fed up for now on boys, so i'm not gonna waste my time thinking about boys all day and i'm already a Uni student now, I have to focus on my studies, be more productive in blogging, exercising, networking, and etc.

But as I got deeper into the video, I have so much respect for her because she really discusses about the importance of having inner confidence and how to look presentable in front of your crush. She also talks about some things that really made me realise that if you're naturally a weird person, don't be ashamed of it, don't hide it, because if a guy falls in love or likes you for the person he met at the beginning of your friendship, he'll be shock to see the real person that you are if you hide your true self from him, because sooner or later, it'll come out. 

Now i'm not saying that we should be frontally show our craziness and hyper activeness in front of that guy that we like (I mean, it'll freak them out) but I think it's also a lesson for me to stay true to myself. I'm the type of person that I stumble a lot of my words when i'm in front of my crush because i'm nervous and I end up saying stupid things or laugh like a lunatic because I don;t know what to say, and i'm afraid if i don't do or say something unique, i'll be easily forgotten, and even to my own surprise, i'm actually a fairly shy person when it comes to being around my crush, and for those who knows me well, it's totally obvious.

Another thing I learned from her video is to compliment a guy, and it is in a way that we praise of the effort that he has done with his hair or maybe he has achieved something that he worked hard for, and make sure to do it in a sweet  and sincere way, not in a skanky and overly flirtatious way. Which i'm embarrass to admit it to myself that, I often make this mistake. When I get too overly excited, the words that come out from my mouth isn't what I planned on my head, and it often ends up people misunderstanding me, which I hate it a lot when it happens.

I guess I can say that i'm not the type of girl that compares myself to other girls, because I believe every girl in this world is beautiful in their own way. But, there are times when I feel like my self esteem just fell from a tall building when the guy that I like is crushing on somebody else. What I would usually do is I would ask to my close friends about what is this girl like, and I would go to Instagram or Facebook, or even Google so see what she looks like. And when i'm feeling extra sad, there are times where I look at the mirror and start comparing myself to her, and if it's at a severe point, i'll usually cry it out.

But no, I will not do that anymore, in fact the last time I compared myself to a girl that my crush likes is back then in High School, which that was a long time ago and i'm quite proud of myself. In the video, she stated that the biggest two turndowns are, when a girl compares herself with another girl, and when a girl talks bad about other girls. Which I could not agree more.

I think the one of the biggest mistakes that I often make is not going through my words when i'm talking to a guy, I mean, i'm just gonna admit that I sometimes do talk crap about other people and yes mostly it is about other girls, which I am not proud of, and I wish to change. I sometime don't really know what I want, I want to have a guy friend but i mistreat him like a girl so I would talk to that guy as is he was a girl, but on the other hand, I have a crush on this guy and I want to be comfortable around him and again, I stumble upon my words and I ended up talking about crap. 

But I want to change, I wish they would know of how much I regret saying bad things about other people while i'm talking to them. It really is not the real me. But there's no turning back, I can only move forward and learn from the many mistakes i've made. I need to learn how to talk slowly and not get too excited, and also go through my words twice or more before I actually let it out of my mouth. And one last thing, I need to quit laughing like a lunatic, I mean I don't forbid myself when i'm around my girlfriends, but I just want to turn down the volume when i'm in front of guys.

So yeah that's about it, I guess there's a couple of other things I did not go through because i'm not the kind of writer that makes a writing plan before I write (even though I should) but I just pour out any words that pops into my head and type it.

I hope you all can learn a thing or two from reading this blogpost and until then, I will keep on developing myself into a much more better person.

xoxo,

Gia

Legacy

With the recent death of Bapak Jusufi (My 9th grade English teacher), many of his loved ones are devastated by the truth and it has shocked us that we did not thought death would greet him this soon. He has done many great things in his lifetime. He was known as the teacher who would always carry a cup of either coffee/tea and would spill a chuck of sugar in it. He was also known as the teacher that always carries a whistle in his hand for all of us to get into class on time (Kind of a reminiscence of the male version of Sue Sylvester). But despite all of that, he was a devoted teacher and a great man.

His recent death has inspired me to write this blogpost about inheritance. When people look up to the skies and think of their loved ones that are not by their sides anymore, what are the things that would pop up inside their head as they recollect past memories shared with that person?

Everyone has a dream. We all want to achieve extraordinary things with the age of our youth and to look back and smile for the things we have done. It is something that is worthwhile fighting for. Therefore, I have gathered voices from people that i have asked and people that have volunteered themselves to be in this blogpost. I asked them:

"What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? What would you like to be remembered as in this world once your body reunites with the ground below and your soul has been called upon from the place above?"

Without further ado, let us see what they have in mind :)

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- Ibrahim Soetomo - 

"My artworks. I'll leave my artworks so people will see me through them."

- Alifanno M Yasser -

"The rhythm of my music. So people could feel how awesome their life is just like the way I do."

- Dimas Muhammad -

"I wanna leave all the stories I told, songs i've sung, writings i've written, voices i've spoken, and all the experiences i've shared for it is the source of my wisdom and the clearest reflection of myself. I would like to be remembered as a friend who makes mistakes, a lot of it, yet still have something to come back for. A person with endless curiosity, endless thirst of endless answers to the endless questions in life."

- Panji Mardhika -

"My artwork and my passion. But other than that, I really want to be known as the person I really am. Maybe through a book or a series of photographies that can tell stories of the things i've been through in my whole life. I am currently studying about Narrative Photography, and from looking through a couple of those examples of their pictures I can already imagine how their life is and it feels so real and raw in a sense that it is so true to the artist and nothing is made up. So basically, I want to be remembered as who I am and I am not sorry for being myself."

 - Aubrie Karenina Bastian -

"I want people to remember my foolishness that i've done in the past. I want to be the reason behind people's laugh and it makes me happy because I have made someone smile and I have lighten their burdens. And I also want to be remembered as a unique person that is unlike any other."

- Fais Arsyad Wahab -

"I want to be remembered as a good and humble person. I want to be nice to people, I wanna be a peacemaker."

- Tsabita Cyavrila -

"If i imagine to be successful in the future, i'll beat Steve Jobs! Ever since I was in junior high, my wildest dream was to invent a brand new operating system called 'Cheetah' (as in faster than leopard, lion, etc.) and also creating a brand new social media for sure. I also want to be remembered as a warmhearted person who loves sharing her thoughts and joy, and also fun to hangout with. Being an introvert in the past made me realise that I don't  have to be afraid to make friends around. So I also decide to make myself to be a better person and be there whenever my loved ones need me."

- Franklin Immanuel -

"Have you ever seen guys wearing baggy shorts and long socks underneath it? Do you know who made that trend popular? Travis Barker. I want to be a trendsetter like him. I want to create a trend that when people sees that trend, they'll think of me too."

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As for me, I don't exactly know, yet. I have a lot of things i want to achieve in this lifetime. As you all know i'm a dreamer, and I have this weird feeling inside of me that my dreams are too big for this universe to handle. For the time being I want to be a Blogger, later on I want to try make videos and be a Youtuber, and my wildest dream is to be a actress on the big screen doing huge blockbuster movies. But I would like to be remembered as warmhearted person that is willing to help others. And i want to inspire people through my creations, whether it is from my blog, the things that I say or do. I want to aspire a lot of people as much as I can. 

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I cannot help but to smile when i read these thoughts that these wonderful people has shared to me. The inspiration of this blogpost came from my dear friend, Ibam when we were mourning over Bapak Jusufi's death and we were talking about ways to make out time here remarkable. Fanno is a friend of mine that I have so much respect for being the first person to share his thoughts, and he is currently postponing his studies to pursue his dream, all the best luck in the world, bro! Dimas holds a special place in my memory because he was actually one of the few people that was nice to me at the beginning of 7th grade and i will never forget that. If i'm not mistaken, I've shared a couple of years being in the same class as Panji and all i can say is, he is a good person and he always smiles, like I can't even remember a time where darkness filled his skies, or maybe there were those days, but he has done a good job to conceal it and it shows how mature he is. Aubrie is a friend that i have shared many laughters and tears with. She is currently in Japan in pursuing her studies as a animator, even though I am sad we no longer live in the same country, distance will never break our friendship. Faiz is infinite, I can write more than a thousand words when it comes to describing him but it'll eat up a lot of space in this post. Tsabita is a friend of mine that i find comfort in, she's mature, caring, loving and overall, a special person that is close to my heart. And last but certainly not least, Franklin is one of the first person that i met outside of my class in Uni, he's a good listener, there were moments where i cried at night and he comforts me and makes me feel so much better because I have a friend that listens to my stories.

"Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you." 

Shannon L. Alder 

Thank you for reading my blog :) it has been a huge pleasure to share my words and others to inspire :) I hope you all will create a beautiful legacy in this life.

xoxo,

Gia

The Graceful Swan

My mother and I was on the hunt for a art piece for my apartment and for the longest time ever, we haven't had any luck. We searched from store to store and none felt it brought the perfect ambience. We were looking for something that had a meaning behind it and not just any art piece/a painting but something i can smile upon to when i wake up every morning.

We were looking around at Ace Hardware and most of the one's there was either too long or the picture on it just doesn't seem right. But suddenly I found this gorgeous picture of a Swan gracefully bending her long neck and forming a beautiful posture on a square canvas. It was a printed painting but it looked real from afar and they added a bit of real paint on some of the vocal features of the faux painting, such as the feathers and it looks absolutely gorgeous.

I showed it to my mom and she told me that this is the one. Since i've been living alone in my apartment, every now and then i kinda miss home and since i only go home on the weekends, i do miss seeing my mom. My mom told me to put this on the wall on top of my bead so whenever i sleep the swan is somewhat like looking after me and my mom always told me that I will grow up into a graceful swan, which at first i asked her if what she meant was i used to be a freaking ugly duckling lol, but i think that was a very beautiful meaning that my mom gave into the art piece.

xoxo,

Gia

A Glimpse of Broken Perfection

Have you ever walked pass by and take a glance at a stunningly beautiful person to someone that to you, every single thing about them is flawless (because we are bewildered by their physical appearance) and you thought to yourself, i wish i was more of like that person or i wish i could be that person. But we do not know what goes through on that person's mind. Sure, maybe that person has the ideal body, the effortlessly stunning hair, flawless skin, captivating eyes, a great fashion sense, a dream boyfriend/girlfriend by their side, and everything just seems perfect when you look at that person. But beneath all of that beauty, do you know that that person might be in deep agony?

Sometimes, we feel at a certain point of depression where we strive for what other people have. It makes us blind. We're so focused on wanting something that we want to have that we forget what we already have and we are not being blessed. And funny thing is, we're so busy wanting what other people have and somewhere or maybe someone that we do not know of are secretly wanting what we have. What is this cycle? What is happiness when it seems like the thing we want the most is not as great as we thought it would? I'm sorry, maybe it's just me and my wicked mind but i'm also on the road of finding genuine happiness.

I have this theory, where God always listens to our desires, even if it's unspoken. God knows. God also grants our wants. But it comes with a price. Let's say, when we want something or to be like someone, God may gives us what what we want, but sometimes, what we want isn't necessarily the best thing for us. Who knows, when we wish to be like the other person and we pray to God to transform us into that person, maybe we don't realise that we're also unknowingly wishing to have that person's bad qualities as well. And why God let those thing happen? To teach us a valuable lesson.

Overall, be blessed with the life that God has designed for all of you and always see the good in the bad even if it is only a single dot of light in a dark landscape. There is nothing wrong with having wants and desires but please do not compare your life to someone else's. When you see someone that you want to be, see them as a motivator and do not be a copycat version of that person!

xoxo,

Gia

"You were born an original, don't die a copy."

- John Mason

Only Time Will Tell

Photo Source

I was going through endless pages of pictures Weheartit and i came across this picture that definitely caught my attention.

Time. Time is something that we cannot take back and we must not take it for granted.

With advanced technology nowadays has enabled us to do greater things innovation wise, but does it also bring good to the environment that we live in.

Countless times where i've passed lands that was once filled with life and nature that has been demolished until there were none left to be seen. Now all i see are architectural buildings rose up into the air and who knows how many trees were cut down in the making of it.

As a part of the millennial generation, we must not let the world that we live in being destructed by our own creation, there are so many ways to preserve the environment that i am ashamed of myself that i have not done much to be a part of it, but slowly, i will reflect it in my everyday doing.

For some moments, please be selfless, think of all the children in Africa and do not waste precious water as they run through the sink and do not relentlessly use the electricity all day. Go outside and be with the sun! Little acts of good will lead to bigger greatness in the future.

xoxo,

Gia

Dear March

This month has been like a crazy roller coaster ride for me, at the beginning of the month, my mind was consumed with the idea of perfecting my Valentine's Day project and it was a good feeling as i met a lot of new people through handing them the love letters. 

Overall, this month wasn't that sour but i think i have learned something valuable from this month on how to control my anxiety. I'm not saying that i have fully recovered from my anxiety, but every now and then i still do pace back and forth, listening to my ipod and enter the treacherous unrealistic realm of mine. It saddens me really, to see myself in the mirror and see how broken i am when i lose contact with reality. But i am in the process of healing, i am still fighting with this and i'm not giving up. I hope i'll never give up.

I have strictly put away my ipod from me and i want to try to live day by day without daydreaming too much and live that dream that i've been dreaming of and be in peace as the way that i hope. This month, i want to discover more and go on more adventures, meet new people, be more open minded and not judge a play by it's poster; and not too draw conclusions too quickly.

Time. One of my biggest concerns is time. Sometimes i feel like the world is spinning too fast and i get so caught up with it that i do not know where i stand. I also often feel i am not spending my time efficiently. I must not waste precious time. I have to be more productive and decrease my level of concern.

I've also learned a bit about love this month, i have forbid myself from falling in love with illusions. If i do want to like someone, i have to fully know what is he like, not the recreation sculpture that i formed in my head. It's going to be hand because i am a sucker for first glances; but i have to do it. For the sake of my mental health.

Lastly, thank you February for the lessons that you have given me and March, please be kind to me. I do not want to waste any more precious tears. I want to be healed. I want to treasure the ones that i love and I want to be more appreciative of time.

xoxo,

Gia 

Head Up in the Clouds

last week and the week before was profoundly a terrible week for me. I pretty much flunked on my midterms and turns out, i was the only one who did not passed on my statistics test, people were pushing my buttons up to it's capacity, things didn't really go the way i wanted it, bitches were being bitches, insomnia sucks and i still cannot stop to procrastinate. Yeay me! if this situation was applied to me back when i was in high school, i would most likely freak out and have anxiety attacks. But a year has passed now and i have changed.

During the horrid situation in the middle of my statistics class, the people around me was stressing out on not being able to do the test and i even notice some of them even relentlessly tried everything that they could to snag a answer from the person sitting next to them. I would most likely freak out if i was in that kind of situation back in high school but something in me felt different, i stayed positive.

I broaden my mind and think that, the world has so much to offer, if we narrow our focus on what only lies in front of us; which for the that time being, my stressful statistics quiz, i'm gonna miss on a lot of wonderful things.Despite for the fact that i flunked on my studies, i looked forward to the next chapter of my adventure, i went over to youtube and admire all of the amazing youtubers that i really do respect the amount of time and effort they put to produce these videos for us to watch.

So long story short, don't get caught up with the tangles that makes life difficult. Life is beautiful. Take a moment to look around and realise the beauty that is begging for us to acknowledge. 

xoxo,

Gia