Friday, April 25, 2014

To Be the Person I Will Become

I think everyone has definitely gone through a phase where they idolise someone and admires their achievements, their looks, their life and whatnot. As we look at ourselves in the mirror, with high hopes and dreams, we hope of becoming to like the person we want to be. For as many years as I could ever imagine, i've always wanted to be this person or that person and I was relentlessly picking out the differences between my life and theirs, and it made me much worse knowing i'll never be like them and I will never have the things that they have.

But as I got older, I now realise why all of those struggles in the past of trying to become like someone else didn't work. The universe did not grant my wish, and I am happy for that. Now I have realise that the person that I want to be is the best version of myself. I keep telling myself that it is ok to idolise someone to look up to and make them as role models, but there has to be a fine line between idolising and obsessing.

It took me years to actually figure this out but, if I do want to be the best version of myself, or let's say the person I want to become, I have to start by change. I read this amazing quote on weheartit that somewhat sounds like this,

"The only difference between the person that you are now and the person that you want to become is the things that you do." 
- Anonymous 

I think that quote really did gave me a hard slap of reality and it empowered me. I have to start step by step and even doing the littlest thing that didn't seem like they would make a big impact, but they actually do. I don't know if I have ever mentioned this on my blog but, I have anxiety issues. There are a lot of times where I wake up in the morning and for some reason, I can't relax, i'm already tensed in the morning, i'll grab my earphones and listen to music to start my daydream in hopes of entering dream world would make things better but it never did and I procrastinate on a lot of things, and then I get pissed off because I can't even do the littlest things without the feeling of worrying inside of me. This sounds stupid but I even can't relax and eat properly in the dining table when I eat by myself because i'm always panting on the inside and I end up eating and walking around my bedroom like a foolish five year old, and yes, it was that severe.

But I want to change, now I pay attention to every single thing I want to start doing just like the person I want to become will do. I first get up in the morning, take a deep breath and thank God for life, then I open the curtains and the windows, turn off the air conditioner, make my bed, stretch, and I control myself if a part of me tries to go back to my old reckless routine and I try my best to resist my obsession towards daydreaming and I put my earphones in my sister's bedroom so it will be out of reach from me. I even hold myself when I want to eat and constantly remind myself to have manners even when i'm eating alone and doing things properly.

Every now and then I do still lose myself and caught myself pacing back and forth to music but it's ok. I tell myself that it's ok because I am still in the process of recovery and I don't go hard on myself. For some it's easy to do things like brushing your teeth after waking up but it's a struggle for me, used to. But i'm in it for the long-run and I will continue doing this step by step and we'll see :) i'll definitely be making more posts about self-development in the future. 

To some, this might sound silly but we all have our own struggles that we're the only ones that comprehends the pain. Also, i'm so fed up of missing out many great moments in life due to my anxiety and depression. I want to change, and it's gonna be a new semester ahead, I want things to get better and I want to get back on track. 

So yeah, sometimes I don't really know exactly the kind person want to become but for all I know is that I want to be the kind of person that can enjoy life even if the people in it tries to bring me down, to keep doing what I love even if things aren't going well, to enjoy every moment of life even with it's imperfections, to find my passion and love what I do, to handle things more wisely, and there is so much more I could honestly write a essay about it.

I was originally gonna write the title of this post as 'To Become the Person I Want to Become' but then I realise, I will become this person because I am willing to change to be it and I will start doing it now. You can't wait for something great happen to you, you have to work hard and earn that greatness and it starts with change.


Monday, April 21, 2014

The Right Time, The Last Time

It was not too long ago where I watched the movie About Time, which Rachel McAdams and Domhnall Gleeson. The movie tells of a young man named, Tim and his other male descendants of his family holds the ability to travel back in time and fix things if necessary. Although I was planning on doing a movie review on this but I went for a different direction because this movie taught me the value of something important and I wish to do yet another self-reflection about, time.

In the movie, after his father told him about this special power, Tim often travels back into time to say what he should have said, do what he should have done and fix his mistakes that he had made. At first, it was like winning a lottery at every try and he could easily go back in time if he mess things up, and it went over and over.

Tim had reached to a moment where he went back in time over and over again until he is satisfied with the moment and starts to lose the essence of time travelling, also i'm so sorry this is gonna be a huge spoiler alert and i'm just gonna jump into the several last segments of the movie because i do not want this to be a long post.

But with recent death of his father. His father told him that he does not need to rewrite moments for him to really enjoy it, he told him to live a day expecting that he could always travel back, and his days was filled with dark skies, gloomy atmospheres, impatiently waiting for things to end and it went horribly. Then his father had asked him to relive that day as if it was his last time going back into time and rewriting his life. From there and so on, Tim lived his life as if it was his last time he was going back into time to live it, and he could not be more happier as life started to bloom genuinely.

From the moral of the story, I often have those days where things are going horribly wrong and I tell myself that there is always tomorrow and I can start all over again, this movie has taught me that each moment is a gift and if we truly value time, time will have it's glitch of magic striking at us and will present us with a noble moment for that to live it once is enough.


Saturday, April 19, 2014

Self-Reflection: Boys

Since i'm on my two weeks of holiday, I spent most of my time reading books and watch endless videos on youtube (so adventurous ikr), and semester 3 is just around the corner so i'm currently planting on new positive perspectives and I seek for a fresh new start and not making the mistakes that I made in the past, but what I learned while I was sitting against the computer screen was, a lot. And one of them happens to be about the opposite sex. 

I've watched this video earlier on Youtube by Mirella Belle titled, How to Get the Boy You Like. At first I was kinda skeptic about it because one, she's super pretty so I presume it'll be easy for her to get any guy she wants, and two, i'm kinda fed up for now on boys, so i'm not gonna waste my time thinking about boys all day and i'm already a Uni student now, I have to focus on my studies, be more productive in blogging, exercising, networking, and etc.

But as I got deeper into the video, I have so much respect for her because she really discusses about the importance of having inner confidence and how to look presentable in front of your crush. She also talks about some things that really made me realise that if you're naturally a weird person, don't be ashamed of it, don't hide it, because if a guy falls in love or likes you for the person he met at the beginning of your friendship, he'll be shock to see the real person that you are if you hide your true self from him, because sooner or later, it'll come out. 

Now i'm not saying that we should be frontally show our craziness and hyper activeness in front of that guy that we like (I mean, it'll freak them out) but I think it's also a lesson for me to stay true to myself. I'm the type of person that I stumble a lot of my words when i'm in front of my crush because i'm nervous and I end up saying stupid things or laugh like a lunatic because I don;t know what to say, and i'm afraid if i don't do or say something unique, i'll be easily forgotten, and even to my own surprise, i'm actually a fairly shy person when it comes to being around my crush, and for those who knows me well, it's totally obvious.

Another thing I learned from her video is to compliment a guy, and it is in a way that we praise of the effort that he has done with his hair or maybe he has achieved something that he worked hard for, and make sure to do it in a sweet  and sincere way, not in a skanky and overly flirtatious way. Which i'm embarrass to admit it to myself that, I often make this mistake. When I get too overly excited, the words that come out from my mouth isn't what I planned on my head, and it often ends up people misunderstanding me, which I hate it a lot when it happens.

I guess I can say that i'm not the type of girl that compares myself to other girls, because I believe every girl in this world is beautiful in their own way. But, there are times when I feel like my self esteem just fell from a tall building when the guy that I like is crushing on somebody else. What I would usually do is I would ask to my close friends about what is this girl like, and I would go to Instagram or Facebook, or even Google so see what she looks like. And when i'm feeling extra sad, there are times where I look at the mirror and start comparing myself to her, and if it's at a severe point, i'll usually cry it out.

But no, I will not do that anymore, in fact the last time I compared myself to a girl that my crush likes is back then in High School, which that was a long time ago and i'm quite proud of myself. In the video, she stated that the biggest two turndowns are, when a girl compares herself with another girl, and when a girl talks bad about other girls. Which I could not agree more.

I think the one of the biggest mistakes that I often make is not going through my words when i'm talking to a guy, I mean, i'm just gonna admit that I sometimes do talk crap about other people and yes mostly it is about other girls, which I am not proud of, and I wish to change. I sometime don't really know what I want, I want to have a guy friend but i mistreat him like a girl so I would talk to that guy as is he was a girl, but on the other hand, I have a crush on this guy and I want to be comfortable around him and again, I stumble upon my words and I ended up talking about crap. 

But I want to change, I wish they would know of how much I regret saying bad things about other people while i'm talking to them. It really is not the real me. But there's no turning back, I can only move forward and learn from the many mistakes i've made. I need to learn how to talk slowly and not get too excited, and also go through my words twice or more before I actually let it out of my mouth. And one last thing, I need to quit laughing like a lunatic, I mean I don't forbid myself when i'm around my girlfriends, but I just want to turn down the volume when i'm in front of guys.

So yeah that's about it, I guess there's a couple of other things I did not go through because i'm not the kind of writer that makes a writing plan before I write (even though I should) but I just pour out any words that pops into my head and type it.

I hope you all can learn a thing or two from reading this blogpost and until then, I will keep on developing myself into a much more better person.


Mini Mid-April Haul

Hello there! Yesterday me and my friend went to the mall to catch up and do some little shopping and as always, i cannot leave a story empty handed! lol. But I was able to restrain myself this time and not go overboard and finally for the first in a long time ever I managed to not spend my money on a circle/flare skirt because that's what I usually buy. So without further ado let's get into the haul! :)

Forever 21

I went to Forever 21 and i immediately went to the accessory section because lately i've been prepping myself for the upcoming semester and i want to incorporate more accessory into my everyday clothes, so i ended up picking some bangles & necklaces and I even bought a hair brush because i'm the type of person that needs to have a hairbrush everywhere I go, and this hairbrush is like the cutest hairbrush ever! It's in mint green and has the word 'Love' on the back with daisies.

Cotton On

When me and my friend were about to go home, we saw Cotton On just across from where we stand, we immediately had a bit of a telepathic moment where we synched and went to that direction at the same time, lol. I've been on the hunt for some fuzzy slippers and so far i had no luck until today! I saw these cute slippers that were in different variation of colours but i decided to settle down with the grey one because it looked very cute and it goes with most themes if I decide to have a room make-over and i also picked up this cute string bracelet while I was at the counter and the gorgeous turquoise colour just grabbed my attention and I have a feeling i'm gonna be wearing this very often.


Now I have to apologise to you all because I forgot to take a individual shot of the book because I was focusing too much on the accessories and I ended up not taking a picture of the book. But nonetheless, it is The Scorch Trials! Omg I am super excited to read this even though I kinda break my own promise, which I kinda made a vow to myself after I finished reading The Maze Runner, I will start reading Allegiant and then I will go over to the book store and pick a copy of The Scorch Trials, but I went to Kinokuniya the other day just to check if they were on stock and when I saw it with my own eyes, I could not resist! But umm here's a picture that I took from Google to give you guys an image of what the cover looks like!

And that's a wrap! I hope you guys enjoyed reading this post and please look forward to my upcoming posts! Got so much exciting ideas for the near future! Especially for the fact that i'm gonna start my 3rd semester of Uni in a week or so, I have a ton of upcoming blog projects! Thank you for reading my blog and have a good day :D


Thursday, April 17, 2014

Book Review: The Maze Runner

NOTICE: This is gonna be my first ever book review that i'm gonna be posting on my blog! So excited yet nerve racking at the same time as I would like to tell so much to my readers about the book but i constantly tell myself this is a book review, not a book summary! So nonetheless i hope you all will enjoy this post and definitely go and read The Maze Runner! And i do apologise in advance if i missed out a lot of points that i should include in a book review, enjoy!


The Maze Runner is written by James Dashner that is known for his works in children fantasy books and also adult novels. The Maze Runner is the first book of the trilogy that captivated many hearts of teenagers around the world. 

The Maze Runner tells a story about a young boy named Thomas that has been sent into an unknown place called, the Glade, where he encountered teenagers like him being trapped inside walls that lies a maze all around it. For two years all of them have been struggling to find a way out of the maze, defeat the beasts that scatters around the maze, find the ruthless Creators that had put them in the Glade and escape from the destructive world they are trapped in. But suddenly, a girl had been sent to the Glade after a day of Thomas's arrival, the unusual event had left all Gladers in suspense because not only a girl has never been sent into the Glade before but she also carries a note that says she is the last ever person to be sent into the Glade. Weird things started to happen and the adventure carries on as Thomas and the other Gladers struggles to survive and find a way out.

What I first notice when I read the book is that I love how well the writer really execute the story. In the book, important or any key information is highlighted in bold and i spot many of them are placed in the next page so it will take the readers by surprise and eliminates us from reading it when we turn on a page and see something in bold letters without even finished the previous page before. 

I also love how there is always a sensation of excitement in me whenever I finish reading each chapter because mostly every chapter ends with a curiosity, of what weird things starting to happen in the Glade and what wicked plots the Creators seem to relentlessly throw to the Gladers to test their patience.

There were also slang languages that the writer specially made for the story and my favourite was 'Shank' because it sounds like a word that would come out of your mouth when you want to curse to someone but it does not insult, it is just a slang. Which is also used as a daily vocabulary for the Gladers. It is also easy to differentiate the characters in the book as one character's persona is different from another.

Lastly, the great thing about this book is keeping the audience wondering and it just attracts the human eye to read more and more as we feel the urge to unravel this great mystery but just at the thought we have mastered the great curiosity, the author takes us on a turn and surprise us with a plot twist that we could not even imagine. 


Thank you all so much for reading this post. I hope it will encourage you all in reading The Maze Runner and stay tune because the movie will be out in around September this year with an amazing cast starting from Dylan O'brien , Thomas Sangster, Kaya Scoldelario, Ki Hong Lee, and many more.


Also, Head on over to Goodreads to know more about The Maze Runner trilogy! I've attatched a link for each book so make sure to check it out!


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Ready for Spring!

Ready for Spring!

ONLY light blue vest
$55 -

Superdry leather boots
$135 -

Mantaray satchel purse
$74 -

Rose flower crown
$40 -

CÉLINE celine eyewear

Lips makeup

Marc Jacobs daisy perfume
$87 -

Hi guys! Just made my first ever set on Polyvore! 💕 Hope u guys like it! 

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

♡ Korean Makeup Haul ♡

Hi guys! My mom just recently got back from Seoul and before she went there she asked me what i want and the first thing that came out of my mouth was: MAKE-UP. My favourite Korean make-up brand is Etude House and Seoul is just like the heaven of Etude House products and my mom even told me that every whee she turn it's always Etude House lol. And also, the price comparison between in Seoul and Jakarta is quite different, because of the tax and shipping fees and all, it's way much more expensive here and my mom even told me that the stuffs there were half the retail price they sell here! So my mom took advantage of her business trip there and bought me a lot of make-up and I was just super duper excited when i got it because all of the products that i've been wanting are finally in my hands now and i'm super thankful that my mother spared her time to but me the make-up that I wanted. So thank you Mom.

Oh and one last thing, I am so so so soooo sorry that i did not write down all the names of the products because the name of the products were mostly in Korean and i can read Korean but not at a point where I can understand every single sentence written on the box......But maybe i'll be doing a product review on the one's that i really like :) So stay tune and comment below on which one is your favourite or also comment on what's your favourite Etude House product!

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DISCLAIMER: In no any point of way that i am bragging about the stuffs that I have just received from my mom. As written on the title, it's a haul so this is meant to showcase each individual products on the picture above and if you don't like these type of posts please do not read it and read my other posts instead :D but anyways, enjoy!

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- Face Products -

Mint Eye Cream
To treat those panda eyes due to lack of sleeping. This eye cream is the perfect cure for those of you who have under eye circles! I usually use this at morning to freshen up my face and I like the cold minty sensation that kinda makes me more wide awake in the morning and the packaging of it is just super adorable!

Goodbye Pore Ever!
To minimise pores & acts as a really good make-up base. This product is literally the saviour to my pore problems! It minimises my pores and it makes my skin much more smoother around the pore areas.
Minnie Touch Highlighter & Blush
For a rosy cheek & to define those cheekbones, these two products are the perfect match! First, can we just have a moment of silence to admire the adorable packaging?? I haven't exactly tried these yet but i've tested a couple of swatches and it looked good! 

- Eye Products -

Drawing Eye Brow
I've been obsessed filling my brows and i've been on the hunt for finding a decent brow pencil that has a similar dark brown colour to my brows. And when i tried this out it looked really nice and i've been wearing this every single day since i got it, and at the end it has a spoolie brush to blend it.
Dr. Mascara Fixer
I really hate it when I have clumpy eyelashes due to me overusing my mascara. But since i've had this product, it works like a miracle! It separates and fixes clumped eyelashes and I usually use it when I feel like my mascara is ruining my eyelashes. 
Eye Shadow Cream & Eye Shadow
The light gold bronze eyeshadow is a cream eyeshadow. It's good for those days when i'm lazy but I want to look put together and it makes my eyes shine brighter. The purple eyeshadow is a gorgeous spring colour and it is super cute for the inner corners of the eyes.

Sweet Recipe Eye Shadow
This super adorable eye shadow duo is so pretty as i love the sparkly colour of it, t's perfect for those special nights that we want out eyes to stand out. I also love how Etude House is super innovative in packaging their products.
Big Eye Line Cream 
As I have mentioned before in my previous post, I have uneven eyelids, it's not really noticeable from afar but when people are talking to me closely, it definitely shows. So i think i'm gonna be trying this in the nearest future to see how it works and to even out my eyelids.

- Lip Products -

 Dear My Blooming Lips Talk Lipstick
It doesn't show the shade in this picture so sorry!). But it's this pretty dark raspberry colour that I absolutely love because it's not too overwhelming to wear it in the day and it's also perfect for at night. It's definitely a versatile product.
 Dear Girls Lip Balm & Lip Tint
OMG by far this is my favourite product ever! It's super functional as it has a lip balm at one side and a lip tint at the other side. It gives the lips a effortless red colour that makes our lips super kissable and the lip balm makes our lips stay dehydrated. 
 Color Lips-fit
I haven't tried out this product yet but i've tried it before and it is a very gorgeous shocking pink finish and it evens out our lips as it has a great coverage. I also love how gorgeous the packaging is and the colour is just simply fabulous.
Lip Balm
This lip balm has literally been my lip saviour as it moisturises my lips and idk why every time i apply it, my lips looks much more warmer and it gives a really delicate pinky effect to the lips, so it's super good for those days i'm not feeling of wearing a lipstick.

- Nail Polishes, Brush Spray & Hand Lotion -

 Puff & Brush Cleaner 
I was so thrilled when I got this because i use my brushes on  a daily bases and it has been so dirty i can't even look at it but this product saved my day! 
Nail Polishes & Nail Glitter 
Other than makeup, my mom also bought me some nail polishes and a nail glitter from the Minnie mouse collection! It is literally Etude House's forte when it comes to glitter nail polishes! It's absolutely amazing and it lasts a decent amount of time.
 Oh Happy Day Hand Lotion
This mini hand lotion smells like a bath filled with roses! It smells so wonderful and it makes my hands real soft and the size is absolutely perfect to put it in my backpack pocket.

Thankyou guys so much for reading my post and my biggest apology if there were a lot of product names i messed up and i'm sorry if the mini product review seemed too shallow for a in depth look for each product!

But anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed it and have a good day :)