Since i'm on my two weeks of holiday, I spent most of my time reading books and watch endless videos on youtube (so adventurous ikr), and semester 3 is just around the corner so i'm currently planting on new positive perspectives and I seek for a fresh new start and not making the mistakes that I made in the past, but what I learned while I was sitting against the computer screen was, a lot. And one of them happens to be about the opposite sex.
I've watched this video earlier on Youtube by Mirella Belle titled, How to Get the Boy You Like. At first I was kinda skeptic about it because one, she's super pretty so I presume it'll be easy for her to get any guy she wants, and two, i'm kinda fed up for now on boys, so i'm not gonna waste my time thinking about boys all day and i'm already a Uni student now, I have to focus on my studies, be more productive in blogging, exercising, networking, and etc.
But as I got deeper into the video, I have so much respect for her because she really discusses about the importance of having inner confidence and how to look presentable in front of your crush. She also talks about some things that really made me realise that if you're naturally a weird person, don't be ashamed of it, don't hide it, because if a guy falls in love or likes you for the person he met at the beginning of your friendship, he'll be shock to see the real person that you are if you hide your true self from him, because sooner or later, it'll come out.
Now i'm not saying that we should be frontally show our craziness and hyper activeness in front of that guy that we like (I mean, it'll freak them out) but I think it's also a lesson for me to stay true to myself. I'm the type of person that I stumble a lot of my words when i'm in front of my crush because i'm nervous and I end up saying stupid things or laugh like a lunatic because I don;t know what to say, and i'm afraid if i don't do or say something unique, i'll be easily forgotten, and even to my own surprise, i'm actually a fairly shy person when it comes to being around my crush, and for those who knows me well, it's totally obvious.
Another thing I learned from her video is to compliment a guy, and it is in a way that we praise of the effort that he has done with his hair or maybe he has achieved something that he worked hard for, and make sure to do it in a sweet and sincere way, not in a skanky and overly flirtatious way. Which i'm embarrass to admit it to myself that, I often make this mistake. When I get too overly excited, the words that come out from my mouth isn't what I planned on my head, and it often ends up people misunderstanding me, which I hate it a lot when it happens.
I guess I can say that i'm not the type of girl that compares myself to other girls, because I believe every girl in this world is beautiful in their own way. But, there are times when I feel like my self esteem just fell from a tall building when the guy that I like is crushing on somebody else. What I would usually do is I would ask to my close friends about what is this girl like, and I would go to Instagram or Facebook, or even Google so see what she looks like. And when i'm feeling extra sad, there are times where I look at the mirror and start comparing myself to her, and if it's at a severe point, i'll usually cry it out.
But no, I will not do that anymore, in fact the last time I compared myself to a girl that my crush likes is back then in High School, which that was a long time ago and i'm quite proud of myself. In the video, she stated that the biggest two turndowns are, when a girl compares herself with another girl, and when a girl talks bad about other girls. Which I could not agree more.
I think the one of the biggest mistakes that I often make is not going through my words when i'm talking to a guy, I mean, i'm just gonna admit that I sometimes do talk crap about other people and yes mostly it is about other girls, which I am not proud of, and I wish to change. I sometime don't really know what I want, I want to have a guy friend but i mistreat him like a girl so I would talk to that guy as is he was a girl, but on the other hand, I have a crush on this guy and I want to be comfortable around him and again, I stumble upon my words and I ended up talking about crap.
But I want to change, I wish they would know of how much I regret saying bad things about other people while i'm talking to them. It really is not the real me. But there's no turning back, I can only move forward and learn from the many mistakes i've made. I need to learn how to talk slowly and not get too excited, and also go through my words twice or more before I actually let it out of my mouth. And one last thing, I need to quit laughing like a lunatic, I mean I don't forbid myself when i'm around my girlfriends, but I just want to turn down the volume when i'm in front of guys.
So yeah that's about it, I guess there's a couple of other things I did not go through because i'm not the kind of writer that makes a writing plan before I write (even though I should) but I just pour out any words that pops into my head and type it.
I hope you all can learn a thing or two from reading this blogpost and until then, I will keep on developing myself into a much more better person.
xoxo,
Gia
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