Tuesday, February 18, 2014

God's Grace

lately things has been quite hard for me, for no specific reason i've been very restless and thinking too much and i think it has got to the point where it over-consumed me, it's like, at one point i can be happy and at another point it's like i suddenly forget and i kinda lose myself, on top of that, i cannot remember when was the last time i prayed to God.

My mom advised me to surrender myself to God and ask for forgiveness and help. I did what i was advised and i confessed to God, life confuses me, the uncertainty, the universe; does it repels itself from karma? why do the things we thought are not the same as we have a taste of it on our own? there were clearly too many questions wandering around my head and it was paralysing. 

By the time i finished praying, a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, the muscles in between my eyebrows softens, and i could feel my heartbeat beating at a constant pace. I smiled.

It was at noon where i walked back to my place after a day at campus, i felt something different in me, what i hate most about walking by my own is the uncertainty, who knows who you might bump into and i just hate, honestly despise it when a group of people looks at me from afar thinking that i do not realise their pair of eyes observing my every move, i also dislike the sound of engines; they're too loud and noisy. But in that moment, i feel different, i was calm and enjoying every step that i took, i felt like there was a invisible force-field that was surrounding me, like i am inside a bubble, the sounds of the cars passing by did not irritate me as much as it used to and in my surprise, the presence of others did not infuriate me.

I looked up to the skies and say, thank you God. It was a precious moment where i felt God's grace was protecting me from the things that made me uncomfortable and made me realise that beauty lies in every corner that we look only if we pretend the destruction that overflows it is invisible; we have to mind it in order for that beauty makes it way into our senses.

I want to feel God's grace every single day of my life until i die, some say it's a struggle; to stay consistent, but i think it is worth the effort. Sometimes all you gotta do is ask and God will permit ti :)

xoxo,
Gia


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